Stop talking heresy!

"Famous for being voted the 'Cutest Officer in the Sector' no less than twelve years in a row, ever since she was assigned here she has captured the hearts and minds of both guardsmen and civilians alike. And yet, despite being deployed to the frontlines of every conflict in the past decade, she has yet to execute any soldier for cowardice in the face of the enemy. Sergeant, you've worked with the commissar Chan for ten years; can you tell us what her secret is?"

"That's easy. You see, any commissar worth their gelt is scarier than the enemy. Problem is, most of them are like that all the time, so the troops don't like them very much. Commissar Chan, on the other hand, is down-right sweet most of the time, so the troops love her."

"So the secret is the mens' love of their officer, then?"

"Nope. The secret is that if you disappoint her, she'll make you fuckin' wish for someone to kill you."

"That explains why she's also won the 'Scariest Officer in the Sector', though not how she started winning it three years before she arrived."

"There ain't enough gold in the Throne itself to make me tell you that story."